Small Change

Excerpted from the book “Small Change”

By Susan and Larry Terkel

Ann Malpass

Reading:  Introduction:   A Better Way to a Better You.

Sermon

Five Rules for applying Small Change to Your Life:

Rule 1:  Look Closely at What You Do Every Day.

Put your change in a piggy bank every single day and watch it steadily accumulate.  Put your change in occasionally, and it still adds up, just not as fast.  The same holds true for the changes we make in our lives.  Change something in your daily life, and you will see the benefits steadily accumulate.  Change something you do occasionally, and it too will bring benefits, just not as fast.

Aristotle said:  “We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Break a bad habit, and with one small step you begin to put your life back on course.  Develop new habits, and take your life in a fresh direction.  Aiming at small changes, you are less likely to fail.  And when you focus your change on a daily habit, the opportunity, when you do forget, presents itself again the very next day.

Life unfolds one moment at a time; the path is traveled one step at a time.  What you do every day carries you along that road that is your life.  Making a small change does not simply change one step; it changes the entire journey.

Rule 2:  Make Only One Change at a Time.

This system works best when you focus on only one small change at a time.  Consider Aesop’s fable about the race between the tortoise and the hare.  Slow and steady won the race for Tortoise; fast and distracted lost it for Hare. 

Remember the KISS formula?  Keep It Simple, Stupid.  One small change at a time is a KISS formula.  We live in busy times, with busy lives.  Why add more busyness to an already busy life?   I am not saying you can’t make a lot of changes – in fact, I hope that you will throughout your life.  I simply believe that your best chance for succeeding is to focus on one small change at a time.

Consider this metaphor.  It is difficult to push a rock uphill but much easier to carry a small stone up a mountain.  Big makeovers, involving many changes in deep-seated habits, are like heavy rocks.  When you keep your change small, like the stone, you have a better chance for long-term success.

Changing a habit is like a classic drama with its standard three acts Sustainable change has a clear beginning, middle, and end. 

Act 1:   Look closely at your life to identify a habit or pattern that you know you want to change.

Act 2:   Make the change.

Act 3:  Sustain the change and reap the benefits.

By the time the curtain falls, your change should be a habit - and no longer in need of all your attention.  Sustaining a change can be difficult, as anyone who has lost weight, stopped smoking, or started a new exercise program can attest.  By giving yourself a least several weeks before starting the next change, you give the first change a chance to become a habit - hopefully, a life-long habit.

The small change approach should inspire you to seek balance in your life – balance between the journey and the destination, between improving yourself and accepting the person you already are.

Rule 3:  Make Small Change a Constant in Your Life.

Instruments tuned on a regular basis are easier to tune.  Exercise is easier when you are in the habit of doing it.  If you are in the habit of change, changing is easier.  Being in the habit of constant change keeps you flexible and open-minded, mindful and diligent. 

Some of us like change.  We acquire new habits the way other people acquire new possessions and use this method to improve diet, health, relationships.  Others of us never like much change.  We’d like to live in the same house, go to the same places, drive the same car, eat the same meals.   

Here is the point.  One small change at a time may not seem like much.  Nor is it a quick fix for a major  problem in your life.  But constant change -continually adding one small change to another small change to another -puts you in the “habit” of breaking habits and acquiring new ones by strengthening your will power, resolve, and awareness.  In this way, success in your practice of making small changes will give you the confidence and strength you need when life does demand big changes. 

Let’s make this point.  Small change is about constantly improving your life, not forcing change onto someone else. 

Remember this poem by William Makepeace Thackeray?

          Sow a thought and reap an act;

          Sow an act and reap a habit;

          Sow a habit and reap a character;

          Sow a character and reap a destiny.

Keep sowing small changes to reap the destiny you want.

Rule 4: Trust the Power of Small Change, and Remember, It Will Add Up.

Ponder this story: 

In a well-know study of four-year-olds, a teacher presented each child with a choice;  get a treat (one marshmallow) right away or wait until the teacher returned from an errand and get an extra marshmallow for being patient.  Two-thirds of the children postponed the pleasure of eating one marshmallow for the chance to double that pleasure.  The results of a follow-up study when the children reached adolescence were even more interesting the children who could delay gratification at age four showed the greatest academic success later.  The four-year-olds’ ability to delay gratification was a better indicator of future school success than were standardized tests. 

Plant a sapling and wait a few years.  You will have a tree ready for a bird feeder.  Wait a decade, and your tree will give you ample shade.  In a generation your tree will be sturdy enough to support a swing, a tree house, or the end of a hammock.  When you trust in the power of small change, you plant seeds of change, one at a time, and allow them to grow into better health, better relationships, better minds, better spirits, better lives.  I cannot promise that small change will give you a good life- no one can.  But I can promise that you will live a better life, a more satisfying life, a happier life, as a result.

The secret to staying on course is being able to visualize your destination.  If you want small change to work, you need to muster up a small amount of self-control, self-discipline, resolve, and confidence, a small amount of patience and optimism, and a big dose of trust in the power of small change to make a big difference in your life.

Rule 5:  Enjoy Making Small Changes.

If you can make small change fun, keep a light-hearted perspective and a sense of humor about it, you will have the best chance of succeeding.  Remember: small change works best when you make it fun, keep it lighthearted, and enjoy the process. 

Applying the rules:

Now, we could talk about small change for better health, small change for better relationships, small change for a healthier, more creative mind, or small change at work.  Instead, we are going to look at applying these rules of small change for more happiness.

In fact, each rule is designed to bring you greater happiness, satisfaction, security, and spiritual well-being.  Good health is priceless, relationships provide comfort and security, work gives satisfaction, and creativity brings pride and fulfillment.  But let’s talk about practical, emotional, and spiritual suggestions for small change that can affect all areas of your life.  Choose one and get started:

Smile More:

Smiling is one of the easiest ways to add happiness to your life and the lives of the people you encounter.  Smiling uses facial muscles that are linked to areas in the brain that produce feelings of well-being and joy.  In this way, smiling may improve our dispositions.  It also improves the way other people respond to us. 

Smiles, like laughter, give your immune system a boost.  As anyone who has ever responded to a smiling baby understands, sincere smiles have the power to make someone more likable, lovable, and desirable.

Smile more often.  The more you smile, the more frequently you activate the specific area in the brain that creates happy feelings and good moods.  Smiling frequently gives your smile muscles a good workout.  With strong smile muscles, your face – even in resting – will carry a smiling look, which can affect your mood and give you a general sense of well-being without additional effort.

So when you want more happiness in your life, and who doesn’t, smile more.  Improve the smiling you do by working on your smile muscles and making sure to use your eyes when you smile.  When you feel gloomy but should be feeling happy, force a smile or, better yet, a laugh.  As the song and the research suggest, when you’re smile, the whole world smiles with you.

Slow Down:

Are you always in a hurry?  Do you race to appointments?  Rush to social engagements?  Do you eat on the run?  Get anxious in long lines, panic over traffic snarls, and hate red lights?  Do you always seem to be dashing through the days, rushing the weeks, and speeding through life?

If you answer yes to most of these questions, perhaps your small change could be to slow down, because slowing down will make a difference in practically all areas of your life.  Slowing down:

·        Allows you to be more careful and lessens the chance of an accident

·        Removes much of the stress caused by hurrying and worrying about it

·        Makes you a safer driver

·        Helps you to be more patient with everyone.

·        Gives you time to think before you speak, talk more slowly, and listen more carefully

·        Allows you to be more mindfully

·        Makes you eat more slowly and allows you to enjoy your food

·        Makes you feel as though you have more time to live life.

Make the decision to slow down.  Remember to slow down.  Turn down the volume or turn off the noise.  Commit to doing less and saying “no” more.  Make one night or one day a slow day.  Concentrate on your breathing.  Learn to meditate.  Make better use of waiting time, and you won’t mind waiting.

Make Enough Enough:

Just as there is “more that one way to skin a cat,” there is more than one way to feel rich.  Here are some ways.  Earn a lot.  Inherit money.  Marry someone with money.  Divorce someone with money.  Win the lottery.  Find and deliver a Most-Wanted Terrorist.

Here are some other ways:  Want less.  Be content with what you have.  Buy less and save more.  Make enough enough. 

Take a break from worry one day a week.  Do not pay bills or go shopping; instead play and have fun.  Avoid using the ATM   Remember the goal is not to appear wealthy in other people’s eyes – it is to feel as though you have enough, in your own mind.  Before you go shopping, set an amount that you can afford to spend.  Break the habit of reading magazines that focus on rich people.  Practice replacement thinking which is “replacing a worry with a positive thought.”

Remember Mahatma Gandhi never made much money in his life, nor did Jesus.  Mother Teresa died poor, as did Vincent van Gogh.  Rosa Parks was known for her courage, not the cash in her pocket. 

Getting rich is the American dream but it isn’t the only dream or the only measure of success.  Truly understanding this concept broadens the dreamscape to let you make enough enough.

Accept What You Cannot Change:

We’ve spent the morning talking about small change, but it is important to understand that there are some things you cannot change.  You cannot change your basic disposition.  If you have a serous nature you are not likely to become Little Ms. Sunshine.

However, what you can change is your perspective.  A shortened version of the “Serenity Prayer is this:  “Learn how to make molehills out of mountains.” 

Religious wisdom says that the rich person is someone who is content with what he or she has.  Study after study demonstrates that wealthy people are only slightly happier than those of us not in that club.  If the street people in Calcutta can report a surprising level of contentment with their lives, surely we can. 

The task we face in finding happiness is twofold.  On the one side is improving ourselves.  On the other side is accepting what we cannot change.  Use whatever system of reasoning that works for you.  For many of us our faith helps us to accept what we cannot change.  Acquire acceptance through religion, philosophy, and inspirational stories.  Also use humor and grace. 

Get in the habit of focusing on people’s good sides including your own.  Get in the habit of replacing bad thoughts with good ones.  Look for humor:  Stephen Douglas accused Abraham Lincoln of being two-faced.  Lincoln retorted, “Do you think I would choose this face if I had another one?”

People who are happy live longer.  People who are happy live healthier lives.  People who are happy are, well, happy.  One of the easiest way to increase you joy, happiness, and life satisfaction is to increase your gratitude about what is right in you life.  Easy?  As easy as counting, because what you do is count your blessing. Literally count them.  This is habit-forming because you count on a daily basis. 

Remember our transcontinental pilot?  The one flying one degree off course?  The one who would have landed in the wrong country?  Navigating through life is the same.  With a reliable moral compass, an ethical code of conduct that you choose to follow, you can steady yourselves during turbulent times, find your way when lost and chart a course of goodness. 

All the great religions, philosophies, and cultures contain timeless wisdom and moral guidance that are as relevant today as they were in simpler times.  For those of us who seek greater understanding and less orthodox interpretations of the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule, these might become the Ten Commitments, which keeps the moral responsibility for your behavior on your own shoulders where it belongs.   You might also look to the Quaker Principles, the Serenity Prayer, the Buddhist Eightfold Path, and Irish, Jewish, and Native American prayers.  And look especially to our own Principles and Purposes, Washington Avowal, and our Love is the Doctrine to improve yourself and your life in a gentle way.

Remember:  Small change – BIG results!